The emptiness, is dark and scary. All things scattered like a broken mirror with its shards of glass strewn across the carpet. And those shards reflect every single memory is thrown back in my face. As a reminder of everything; everything that I have ever done, or something anybody has ever done to me.
I want to open my eyes, and escape the images, but it's as if lead weights hold them closed. Nightmares form, faster than morning dew. Leaving me wordless, e
motional, and scared. Scared of what is to become of my future. If all I can ever see is my past. The nightmare's mission is to keep me from moving on; keep me locked in place like a deadbolt.
If dreams are supposed to be what you make them, why when I mold them into my true life fantasies; do they always fall apart? I dream of being married, and somehow something messes it up. The cascade of pain sets in through my sleeping body, I want it to go away. I want to be able to open my eyes and free myself from this madness.
I no longer want to feel the dark figures tearing my dream world apart. Destroying everything that I have worked so hard to create. Depriving me of proper sleep, making me doubt my trust in people. My reality is hard enough; full of worry, and fear. Why should my dreams bear the same burden? Sad goodbyes, and lonely nights should not be in my dream world. My darkest memories should not have the ability to resurface.
I just want to feel ok when I close my eyes. I want to feel restful, I want to feel happy and creative and loved when I closed my eyes. Not afraid of what I will see. I just want to know that for once in my life everything will be ok. Even if it is a fantasy. Even if everything I have ever fabricated is of a fairytale nature. Should any person be denied such joy?
If dreams are supposed to be what you make them, why when I mold them into my true life fantasies; do they always fall apart? I dream of being married, and somehow something messes it up. The cascade of pain sets in through my sleeping body, I want it to go away. I want to be able to open my eyes and free myself from this madness.
I no longer want to feel the dark figures tearing my dream world apart. Destroying everything that I have worked so hard to create. Depriving me of proper sleep, making me doubt my trust in people. My reality is hard enough; full of worry, and fear. Why should my dreams bear the same burden? Sad goodbyes, and lonely nights should not be in my dream world. My darkest memories should not have the ability to resurface.
I just want to feel ok when I close my eyes. I want to feel restful, I want to feel happy and creative and loved when I closed my eyes. Not afraid of what I will see. I just want to know that for once in my life everything will be ok. Even if it is a fantasy. Even if everything I have ever fabricated is of a fairytale nature. Should any person be denied such joy?
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